Baron Storm New "Christmas is for Lovers" CD is Top Seller
Over a year in the making, Baron's latest album is his favourite yet. "I can hardly believe the response to this cd", he stated. "Sales have already topped the best selling Christmas albums of the past. It's more than I could have asked for, and I'm grateful. This album is very very special."
Baron Storm mobbed in France!
Almost 15,000 people turned out in Cannes at the MIPTV festival in May to catch a glimpse of the famous Baron Storm. The reception was held at the Martinez Hotel. Paparazzi started to mob Baron Storm who had to escape with a group of Russian women who promised safety in return for his hat.
Baron Storm asked to perform at the Vatican!
Pope Benedict has requested that Baron Storm perform at the Vatican. This follows his successful concert in 2004 which was attended by all Roman Catholic Priests from around the world. A movement has been started to make Baron Storm a Saint. His singing is recognized by the Roman Catholic church as a bona fide miracle. No confirmation has been given by Baron Storm’s management due to conflicts in his next ten years concert bookings.
Baron Storm causes hike in health care costs in the United States!
The unprecedented reaction to Baron Storm by American women, primarily swooning when ever they hear his voice, has caused ambulance and hospital workers to ask for a pay hike. U.S. Statistics confirms that just under four million women and three million men were hospitalized in 2004 as a direct result of either attending Baron Storm concerts or listening to him sing in a public place. Congress has proposed a ban on any further appearances by Baron Storm in the United States due to this problem. However, Baron Storm’s lawyer, Sir Richard of Glenora violently opposes any such action under the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th and 48th clauses of the Constitution.
Baron Storm named in 69 paternity suits!
Baron Storm has been named in 69 paternity suits in Germany. The claims were laid nine months to the day after a one week concert in Frankfurt. Baron Storm denies any and all allegations. The 69 babies, all born in May of 2005 are made up of 60 girls and nine boys. “The fact that they all have the same DNA as Baron Storm is a pure co-incidence,” said Sir Richard of Glenora, Baron Storm’s legal spokesperson.
Baron Storm named man of the year and sexiest man alive!
A resounding majority in the voting by the worlds press has voted Baron Storm for the fifth year running as the Man of The Year and Sexiest Man Alive. Beating out competition such as Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom and Russell Crowe by a ten to one margin. In his usual humble way Baron Storm said “Well, there’s not really anyone else, is there?”
Woman sues Baron Storm for Sexual Problem!
Baron Storm was sued by Patricia Knowles, a distant relative of the wife of Prince Charles, for $6 million dollars in U.S. Federal Court today. The milestone lawsuit claims that she has been unable to stop having multiple orgasms since she first heard Baron Storm sing. She is claiming damages for loss of sleep, loss of weight and being horny for 24 hrs a day since the she first heard one of his records. In a counter suit Sir Richard of Glenora, Baron Storm’s legal adviser has claimed damages for $18 million. The statement of claim alleges that Ms Knowles has stalked Baron Storm stealing seats out of his private jet and using them to pleasure herself. The trial is set for June 2007. In the interim Baron Storm has offered to meet with her privately to try and deal with some of the problems.
Baron Storm sets Records!
Adding to his incredible list of accomplishments Baron Storm has now been officially entered into the record books for swimming unaided from Hawaii to Los Angeles in three days and 17 hours. This is about half the time taken by a large sail boat. Baron Storm explained that he went for a dip on Hula Beach in Hawaii after eating several bean burritos. “What happened next was a bit of a blur, all I remember is that I had a very favorable wind.” He said.
Industry Acclaims Baron Storm!
The World Music Organization (WMO) today said thank you to Baron Storm for pretty much single handedly rebuilding the music industry after years of decline. The event, held in the prestigious Walt Disney Theatre in Hollywood was attended by the who’s who of the music industry. In a simple speech that lasted for six hours, Baron Storm thanked the industry for its support but wanted to point out that nothing happens in this industry without the help of all the people who put the little holes in the center of the records so that people can stick it in their players.
Baron Storm Marriage Rumors!
Who was the mysterious girl seen on the arm of Baron Storm. Rumors are flying that love could be in the air. Baron Storm denies everything as he always does, and wants to point out he practices celibacy for ten minutes every day. ‘I am far too busy to enter into a meaningful relationship,” he said. “To do that I must have emotion and emotion just gets in the way of having fun.” He continued.
Nine More Uranium Records for Baron Storm
The special Uranium Category for best selling artist of all time was invented because the Platinum records were just not representing the facts. The advance orders of Baron Storms 2005/6 Christmas album ‘Christmas is for Lovers’ has now set a new world record and has become the biggest selling album of all time, almost eight months before Christmas. Several consumer groups are now asking that Christmas be moved forward a couple of months so that they can hear the new album on the radio a lot earlier.
Baron Storm in Recording Accident!
Every fan of Baron Storm knows that he loves to sing underwater in his submerged
recording studio in the Caribbean. A simple electrical fault nearly cost Baron
Storm his life. A fuse went in the 1,000 track recording studio causing sparks
and lightning strikes. Baron Storm rescued everyone before leaving himself.
The repairs are estimated to cost in the region of $20 million.